Ask for help

I spent years building a reputation as the person who had answers. The engineer people came to when things broke. I wore that identity like armor.

Then I moved into leadership. And suddenly I was in rooms where I didn't have the answers. People strategy. Budget conversations. Organizational politics. Territory I'd never navigated.

My first instinct was to fake it. Figure it out alone. Asking for help felt like admitting I didn't belong.

That instinct was wrong.

What I learned

The moment I started asking — really asking — things changed. I found a former engineer who'd made the transition to leadership years before me. I asked what mindset shifts had helped. What mistakes to avoid. Where the hidden landmines were.

That single conversation saved me months of stumbling.

Why engineers resist this

We're trained to solve problems independently. That's what makes us good at code. But leadership isn't a codebase you can debug alone. The problems are human-shaped, and the documentation doesn't exist.

Asking for help doesn't make you look like a novice. It makes you look like someone who's serious about getting it right.

The practical move

Find someone who's walked the path you're on. A former engineer turned leader. Ask them one question: "What do you wish you'd known in your first year?"

Then shut up and listen.

The fastest way to grow into a new role isn't grinding through it solo. It's borrowing decades of experience from someone willing to share.